Splashin' Fashion!
by coolcube
Summary: The Artemis Fowl version of Trashin' Fashion, a segment on All That! One-shot, and very funny! Please read and review!


**Splashin' Fashion!**

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My first story like this! This isn't really my style, but there is really no other way to write this story! Hope you like it. And, oh yes, I don't own Artemis Fowl, Butler, Juliet, Root, Foaly, Mulch, or Holly. But I do own Molly, which is the only name I found that rhymed with Holly. Well, anyway, here it goes! Please review!

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** 1. Butler**

**Announcer:** And now, Splashin' Fashion, with Holly and Molly! Live from Fowl Manor and the LEP headquarters!  
**Holly:** I'm Holly!

**Molly:** I'm Molly!

**Both:** And we have a passion for....... Splashin' Fashion! Uh huh!  
  
**Holly:** Our first guest today is Butler, a real bodyguard, for..... _Bodyguard Fashion_!

**Butler**: Hey, what are you doing here! You're not allowed to ent —

**Holly**: (sprays with perfume bottle)

**Butler:** (falls down, unconscious)

**Holly**: Okay! Now, let's take a look at his outfit! Black shirt, black tie, black jacket, black pants, black shoes, black socks, black shades, and..... _black boxers_!! Eeeou! _Everything_ is black! (whispers) You know, color was invented a long time ago! (sighs and shakes head) Back to you, Molly!

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** 2. Foaly**

**Molly:** Ookay, I really didn't need to know that last bit. Anyway, here we are with Foaly, a real live centaur! For Horse ..... er, I mean, _Centaur Fashion_! Now, let's take a look at his –

**Foaly:** Wait a minute! You aren't supposed to be here!

**Molly**: (passes crate of carrots)

**Foaly**: (munching) Which makes you not not supposed to be here! (whinnies) Now, what can I do for you?

**Molly:** Well, you can put me out of my misery, because your outfit is killing me!

**Foaly**: _What?_

**Molly:** Well, that shirt reading "Endangered Species" is, sooo not cool.

**Foaly**: But it's true!

**Molly**: Well, it's true that I can't stop eating Fruit Roll-Ups, but do I write it on my shirt? _NO!_

**Foaly:** (inches away)

**Molly:** And that tinfoil hat has _got_ to go!

**Foaly:** But it protects me from human spies! They're tracking me, you know!

**Molly:** (inches away) Aha. Now I have to go put my eyes in the dishwasher. Adios!

**Foaly:** Sayonara!.... Hold on, why is it called 'Splashin' Fashion'?

**Molly**: (dumps bucket of water on Foaly and electronic appliances)

**Foaly**: MY WHOLE SYSTEM! YOU - YOU - YOU! (throws carrot)

**Molly:** (sighs) Computer nerds. Highly strung. Back to you, Holly!

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** 3. Juliet**

**Holly**: Now, it's time for _Crazy Teenager Fashion_! With Juliet Butler!

**Juliet**: I'm _not _crazy!

**Holly**: Maybe, but your outfit says differently. That shirt looks makes you look like you have a life vest on! _Not _pretty!

**Juliet:** Uh, that is, like, my judo crash vest!

**Holly**. Uh, huh. Right. Now, those pants –

**Juliet**: You're, like, asking for it, fairy girl!

**Holly**: If you mean asking for my eyes cleaned, then yes!

**Juliet:** (frowns) That wasn't very, like, nice!

**Holly:** Neither is your face! Just look at that stuff on your eyes. You look like you were punched by two guys with very good aim!

**Juliet:** That is, like, my super cool glitter green eyeshadow from Preteen magazine!

**Holly**: Mmm. Maybe you should sue them!

**Juliet**: Grrrr. You know, I still haven't practiced my piledriver on anyone!

**Holly**: Umm, yeah. Got to go! (runs away)

**Juliet**: Wait, why on earth is it, like, called 'Splashin' Fashion'?

**Holly:** Oh, how could I forget? (dumps bucket of water on Juliet)

**Juliet**: Hey! My new clothes!

**Holly:** Yikes! Don't remind me! Now, back to you, Molly!

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** 4. Mulch**

**Molly**: Ookay. Now, it's time for.... _Convict Fashion!_ With Mulch Diggums! Now, those horizontal stripes just make you look a bit....... fat.

**Mulch**: But, I have to wear this!

**Molly:** Excuses, excuses. Save it for the fashion police!

**Mulch**: _More_ police? (shivers) (stops) If I gave you five dollars, will you _buy _yourself a brain?

**Molly:** No, but if I gave you five dollars, will you buy yourself a haircut! Yikes!

**Mulch**: Hey, I can't help it!

**Molly:** Okay, got to go throw up! Bye!

**Mulch**: Wait, you still haven't said why it's called 'Splashin' Fashion'!

**Molly:** Oh, yes! (dumps bucket of water on Mulch) There, now at least you're clean!

**Mulch**: My only clothes!

**Molly:** No need to thank me! Back to you, Holly!

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** 5. Artemis**

**Holly**: Now, it's time for _Geeky Rich Genius Kid Fashion_! With Artemis Fowl!

**Artemis**: (dangerously) Hey!

**Holly**: Let's see, Armani suit, Armani loafers, Armani shades---

**Artemis**: What is it that you want?

**Holly**: Like, to scream! That outfit is soo not cool! (shakes Artemis) You're twelve, _not_ thirty!! Live a little!

**Artemis**: (rubs temples) Aha. Butler, do we have any tranquilizer hypodermics left?

**Holly**: Uh.... got to go. (runs out of room)

**Artemis:** Come back! I believe you have not told me why it is called 'Splashin' Fashion'?

**Holly**: (smiles) Oh, yes, I almost forgot! (dumps huge bucket of water on Artemis)

**Artemis**: My new suit! Ruined!

**Holly**: Oh, that felt _good_! Back to you, Molly!

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** 6. Root**

**Molly**: Okay, now we're at our last segment ....... _Red-Faced Boss Fashion!_ With Julius Root!

**Root**: It's Commander! And I am not red in the face!

**Molly**: (holds up mirror)

**Root:** Oh. Is it that noticeable?

**Molly**: (nods sadly) Now, that suit! It doesn't exactly say, 'Hello there, glad to see you came in to work today!'

**Root:** It isn't supposed to.

**Molly**: And it is a bit tight around the belly, as you can see!

**Root**: Grrrr. It _is not!_

**Molly:** (holds up mirror)

**Root:** Oh. Is it that noticeable?

**Molly:** (nods sadly)

**Root**: Grrrrr! _You_ annoy me to a point where only Holly has ventured!

**Holly**: _HEY!_

**Molly**: That wasn't very nice! (looks at watch) Well, I've got to go! Ciao!

**Root**: WAIT, YOU........ WHY IS THIS MINDLESS SHOW CALLED 'SPLASHIN' FASHION'?

**Molly**: You asked for it. (dumps bucket of water on Root) Well, that's all the time we have for today! Remember, I'm Molly!

**Holly:** And I'm Holly!

**Both**: And we have a passion for.... Splashin' Fashion! Uh huh!

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**Root**: Hey, wait! _YOU"RE FIRED!_

**Molly:** But I don't work here!

**Root**: Would you like a job at Recon?

**Molly:** Wow, would I!

**Root**: You're fired!

**Artemis**: You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

**Juliet:** (looks in compact) You really think it's ugly?

**Foaly:** (throws more carrots) You ruined our whole security system! ..... You really think the hat isn't cool?

**Mulch:** I do _not_ need a haircut!

**Butler**: I know where you live!

**All:** Get back here, you! Wait! Hello? _Hello_! Hello? _Hello_! Hello???

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** -end of script- :)**


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